Here is the truth, I was bored.  My wife and kid were watching The Goonies, like every other parent from my generation we try to get them to like the stuff that we did as kids, so that we can try to recreate the feeling that we had when we were her age.  It usually ends with my kid bored, and me figuring out that The Goonies sucks, and that kids are stupid.  If I had it my way I would be watching old Super Bowls on ESPN classic with that NFL Films guy making me feel a false sense of excitement that I probably never felt because I just started watching sports 3 years ago.

So I went to my computer.  That always leads straight to Facebook (unless I am alone, I can't focus on the mundane lives of others if there is a possibility that I could be running a batch).  Facebook sucks on Saturday nights.  All of my interesting friends are talking to interesting people, not posting passive aggressive messages to somebody that they are in a fight with in their real life.  This is when I get bored, so I go to my address bar and type the following.

www.fartface.com

I was half hoping that it would be this old Brazilian porn that Adam and I saw once where the girls were farting in each other's mouths.  That would have been best case scenario.  I did not get that. I just got a place holder with a picture of a Phillip's head screwdriver.  I looked at it for like a minute and decided that it was not what I was looking for.   I decided to type something else and I thought "Why add more to the word? Lets try trimming it" so I put my cursor in the address bar again and backspaced it to say:

www.fart.com

I hope you are following along by opening a new tab and looking at the sites that I am looking at because you already feel that sense of disappointment and anger that I feel.  If you haven't been following along I will tell you.  This website is less funny than those "clever"  things you hang in your cubicles.  I actually saw a George W. Bush doll that you could pull his finger and make him fart.  That is not comedy, it would be marginally funny if George W. Bush was known for cutting farts, but this is just nonsense.  There was also a shirt that had a picture of Sara Palin that said "vpilf".  What the fuck does that even have to do with farts?  I don't know what I expected, but the bar was so low that I had to find out who was behind it.  That is what lead me to the next site.  I found it on the bottom of fart.com.

www.iventure.com

The header on the page says "Iventure, brands that connect...".  This sickened me, because I pictured the guy coming up with that slogan and feeling really good about himself.  I decided to see what business this company was involved in.  I picture it as a loose office.  No cubicles, just couches and computers and people in jeans.  They are trying to build connections to things.   This is a sample conversation.

Fredrick Stanley:  Did you hear that Peter Tyler got the big fart.com account?

Johnny Stevemeyer:  No, but I just found this great little upstart out of Iowa that makes magnetic bumper stickers that say bad things about the driver like "Proud To Be Gay".

Jack Iventure:  We should put the bumper stickers on fart.com!!!

Fredrick Stanley and Johnny Stevemeyer in unison:  That is why the company is named after you!

I don't know what I was trying to prove with this.  It either shows that corporations suck and don't really value art or culture.  Or It shows that when I get bored I tend to type the exact same words that an 8 year old boy would type if given access to a computer.  I think that it symbolized the fact that a lot of the wild west aspects of the internet are coming to an end.  I mean, if fart.com is just some corporate entity that is interested in selling lowest common denominator comedy products, then I guess it is accurately giving a visual representation to what a nasty fart is, but fart.com could have been some kind of comedy.  Probably not the greatest thing in the world, but maybe sound clips of other people farting, that is not the point, designing fart.com is not my job, it is probably good work for a 10 year old boy.

This is how things go.  Radio companies have a whole bunch of commercials that they want to play you, but you aren't going to sit around listening to them.  So they put out the minimum amount of material to get you to listen to the maximum amount of commercials.  Music on the radio is dead, we have iPods.  So the radio companies try to get you to listen by putting personalities on that make you want to tune in and hear their take on Jersey Shore, and American Idol.  The problem is that only a few people own radio stations and they are all basically like Jack Iventure.

Radio could have been the most potent form of entertainment.  Adam, Brett, Brandon and I can cover news and entertainment in an hour and make you want to keep listening.  The reason we can do these things is because we don't have a Jack Iventure in our organization (I prefer to call it a cell, but the other guys won't go for it).  We just want to do funny radio.  I don't give a fuck where it goes, but I can promise that we will never sell our Domain to iventure.com.